work, diploma and motherhood

my friends called me supermom

There has always been a debate on whether a SAHM or a WM is a much better choice. I have chosen to be a working mum and at the same time went for a diploma in early childhood. I have chosen to be an educator. Prior to this, i was working as a nurse in one of the restructured hospital. The 3 rotating shifts is the final straw when i had my third child. I decided to call it quits. It is not that i don't love my job as a nurse but i needed to be there for my children. It wasn't a sacrifice but just another option. Before i joined the early childhood field, one of my colleagues told me that the life of a teacher is not any less hectic. I was not buying it as i thought about the office hours and being able to go home early and having the weekends off. Boy was i wrong. Not only was it more hectic, there was work to be done at home. Lesson plans and lesson preparation. I was caught in a whirl. I couldn't attend my own children's Parents teacher conference because i was busy being there for "my children " at work #judgemealluwantbutthisisthetruth. I had to always find an alternative care for my children as I can't neglect "my children". However I have never regret my choice to work #haveuseenthepriceofthingsinsingapore.

Why I chose to work?

• high cost of living - having four growing children who requires a lot of things in life makes me work harder to enable us to lead a comfortable #iamnotrich #iamstillmiddleincome 
• enjoys financial independence - my hubster and me always discuss about our finances. We have a financial sheet which we go through every month to ensure that every bills is paid for and where are the money going to #sometimeswhenwelookatthebalancewebecomesad. So i don't have to depend on my husbster if I want to buy things. He does buy for me things but i prefer not to trouble him with the little things in life. I also believe that in times if things doesn't work out between us or something were to happen #touchwood, at the very least I am still relevant to the workforce and not out of touch.

Why sometimes I prefer to stay at home?

• Being an educator means I miss my children's first day or important dates because I have to be there for my other children #noregretsthough #moraldilemma
• I want to be there for my children while they grow up and figure things out
• I am just plain tired #assimpleasthat
• I want to be a good wife? #notthatiamlesserofawifenow

Basically me in a nutshell except my children are never messy

The reason why i am so pressed for time is because my company sponsored me to take up the diploma in early childhood - teaching at seeds insitute. So every monday,wednesday and fridays from 630pm till 930pm, I will be at the NTUC campus learning how to be a teacher. i have to hand in assignments both individual and group. Sometimes I have to burn the midnight oil or work through the weekends to finish up my assignments. On top of that, I have to research and do my readings. It was not easy nor was it impossible. I love the idea that our late Mr Lee Kuan Yew put across that Learning is Life Long. All I have to do is to put my priorities right and plan and schedule my days properly. However, there are days where I will just slack off and that's when things will just snowball and I will break down #yessupermomsalsobreakdown. I feel that it is important for me to upgrade myself to keep myself relevant to the society. i also feel that by upgrading myself, it will lead to a better pay #yessingaporeisallaboutthepapers. And with a better pay, I will be able to provide better for my children and for the family.

The reason for all the things that I am doing rite now

For every hardship that I go through, I thank Allah for giving me the opportunity to be a better mom. I have never felt that my children are a burden. They are in fact the reason why I am still standing strong as a mom. There are times where I question myself why I have to put myself through all these. I closed my eyes and I see these four faces looking back at me. I knew I made the right choice. I also am thankful to have a supportive husband who was there for me through thick and thin. There were times where I will cry due to stress from all those things. He will simply cheer me up by bringing me to places that I love and eating things that I love or just simply listening to me rants. Motherhood is a full time job with no medical leave nor much me time. However, the perks and benefits leave me happy and euphoric all the time. I am also blessed to have my parents cheering me on or helping me to sort my thoughts out. There were times where I will go to my mom's room and cry my hearts out or complain about my day. She sometimes will rant with me and say how unfair it is or she will knock some sense into me. I can never imagine my life without all these people to support me and give me strength to endure #iamblessedbeyondbelieve #nomaterialthingsinthisworldcanreplacethese.