Brand new partner - HP desktop

I have been waiting to use the new desktop. I have received it after a day of frustration due to the late delivery from Lazada. However, after receiving the desktop, I realized that the desktop can not connect to the internet. I should have not been impatient and purchase the computer without thorough checking of the specs. Due to the wireless adapter, I have to wait yet again. The Hubster went to Challenger and bought it for me so that I can use the computer today.

something to connect to the internet

After which I have to install the Microsoft office as I need to get my financial sheet done. I have always had my financial sheet ready to make all the necessary payment and savings plans. As it is the final quarter of the year, it means purchasing the children's school books and their necessities. It is not easy with 3 primary school going children. I understand the struggle that some of the parents are going through. It is not easy to raise children in Singapore. Many of our friends have asked us how we survive raising 5 children. It is not easy especially when you do not plan your financial wisely. I am just glad that at times that I have supportive family members and in-laws. However, we do not take advantage of their kindness and work very hard to ensure that we are financially independent. As of now, we are slowly recovering from all the financial mistakes that we have made. We have ensured that we have savings and spend within our means in fact we have been cutting down on our expenditure. I really wished that we were smarter in making our financial decision back then. Planning our monthly expenditure is never easy as I have to take into consideration the needs of 5 small children. It is tough but not impossible. The upcoming year will be a challenging year for all of us. A few major changes are happening. I pray hard for Allah to ease our affairs.

Death of the Mac

I have been wanting to post about the essential items to get for primary school. However, something had happened. I have spilled a cup of soda on my MacBook. And with that, it is officially the death of my MacBook. My MacBook has served me for 5 years. There were times where it went to bitch fit and started to go crazy. I am a sentimental person. I treasure my gadgets. I feel like they were an extension of me. I usually will not change my hand phone or laptop despite the new models available in the market. I used to change my hand phone frequently during my teenage years. It all change when I married my hubster. He does not like me constantly changing my hand phone set. So, it has become a habit and plus it taught me about self control. I have purchased a desktop via LazadaSg. I was supposed to receive it yesterday but yet as of now I have not received it. I will post out another post after receiving my desktop. Have a great Friday!

Happy Friday everyone from the Hi5

How to prepare your child for primary one part 2 - social and emotional preparation

In my previous post, I have shared tips on physical preparation for primary one. A friend of mine shared that it provided useful information for her. I am glad that I am able to help other mummies through this humble blog of mine. I do realise that it was not an easy transition from preschool to primary school. This is especially true for first time parents. I remembered when I was going to register my first born. I did not know when was the application period and the balloting process was bit blurry for me. It was nerve wrecking not knowing whether she was accepted in the school or we have to choose another school. It was a tough process but we enjoyed the moments where we went for orientation and get to know the school. We were happy knowing that the children are in great hands( they had a great pool of teachers, passionate and dedicated). I really hope after the whole nerve wrecking process of the registration and getting used to the school, your children will enjoy school as much as mine does. Aside from the physical preparation, it is equally important that we prepare the children in terms of social and emotional. Social skills play a big part in making sure that they make new friends in the NEW environment. These friendships may turn to lifelong ones. Emotional preparation is as important as a confident child will be able to go through the obstacles that primary school brings. And in turn, the parents that is us will have a much easier journey with them.

Emotional preparation

Emotional preparation can be done in a fun way. Some preschool centre helps in the preparation by organising a trip to a primary school open house.  If your child's preschool initiated a visit to a primary school, please let them go. In this visit to the primary school, the children will basically go through how a day in a primary school feels like. I believe they even allow parents to follow. If you are given an opportunity, grab it. Let me share how it is like. During the visit, children will be given a tour of the school. They will showcase the different CCAs in school. And on top of that, they will experience the joy of buying food from the canteen. As you can see, it is very useful. Therefore if such trips are organised or there is an open house at the school that your child is going to, please go for it. You can ask all the questions that you worry about. Another way that you can encourage your child is by getting an older sibling or your niece or nephew to share their experience on first day of school. However, be mindful, pick the ones who has positive experiences. This is helpful especially if the older child happens to be your child's favourite friend or cousin. First impressions are important to create a lasting one. 

Besides experiences, we need to build on the child's confidence. As your child goes through primary one, be mindful of changes in behaviour e.g. withdrawn or lack of appetite. There was an incident where my eldest daughter was withdrawn and quiet. I grew worried as it was so unlike her. My hubster and I decided to have a personal one to one talk with her. It is important to ensure privacy for such talks. Children sometimes do not like to share their experiences in front of their siblings. She shared that she was being bullied. Now, as parents, we tend to get defensive and uptight once our child mentioned the word "bully". It does not help by asking leading questions. What we do was allow her to retell the incident. We listened without interrupting and gather all the info. What happen was a boy kept calling her "pig" and kept taking her personal belongings even though she said"stop". It did not help that even though she told the teacher, the boy did not stop. Now, some parents at this point might blame the teacher and started thinking that the teacher is not doing her work. For me and hubster especially myself, we prefer to hear from the teacher's point of view. I empathise with  primary school teachers. It is not easy to be there for all of the 30 children no matter how much they tried. The first step that we took was to arrange a meeting with the teacher to get her side of the story. So Hubster went to talk to the teacher. From what we gather, the boy had some behavioural problems and his parents had been notified. The teacher assured us that she acknowledge the incident and is doing her best to help the boy. As parents, we acknowledge and the next step was to equip my eldest daughter with the skills to handle the situation. The best thing when faced with bullies was to teach our child how to handle the situation.We taught her how to walk away or ignore the bully. I explained to her how giving attention to the bully's actions will make him feel good. Do follow up on your child's progress by asking her about the bully. This helps to develop a sense of trust and bonding between you and your child. Other than developing trust, it will make your child feel that she is not alone facing the bully. It will increase her self confidence. Self confidence helps to motivate a child and increase their performance in school.

Another step that you can take is to ensure that they are familiar with the school which in turn will develop their self confidence. Humans by nature are afraid of the unknown. Thus being familiar with the school and its routine is important. So parents, you need to create a routine for school and be consistent about it(i know it's so difficult to be consistent especially those working moms, I am one of them too).

Social skills preparation

Social skills need time to develop but it is never too late to teach them. Social skills like empathy, honesty and responsibility are important. Now, we as adults tend to take for granted that these children will know what to do when faced with situations that require them to be responsible, honest and to empathise(I am guilty as well). We thought that they have the common sense to do such deeds. The truth is no, they do not have such skills, these skills are acquired and modelled. If you always show acts of responsibility, your child tend to know how to be responsible. For example, returning their plates and cutlery in the school canteen. If they put their plates in the sink at home, they will know that they have to return their plates and cutlery in school. If you show kindness to the poor, your children will follow suit. So therefore, you need to explain to them certain things like returning the wallet that they found to the lost and area or not making fun of their friend who may be different from them. Children learn by modelling actions from their parents. Therefore continue to build on their social skills so that they can work well with their peers. Besides that, we as parents need to be open minded when the teachers provided feedback on their progress. 

Teamwork is another set of skills that the children need. The children will need to work in a group to complete a project. Therefore it is important to teach them how to listen when their team mates are talking and to show respect by not talking. You may do role-play to act out the different situations and get your child to give their input on how they will react when the situation arises. After which, you may correct them or teach them the right way. Other than role playing, you may want to borrow books about first day of school. You can use the content to explain to your child how first day of school is going to be like.

Happy experiences make my children look forward to school everyday.

I hope that my sharing has helped to enlighten you in one way or another. My children are still "work in progress". There were days that I feel like screaming at them and there were days where they go on and on about their school. I hope all of you will persevere and endure the primary school years. It is important to provide a support system for our children. At the very least, they know that they have us to count on no matter what. And lastly, enjoy the learning journey with your child because the primary school years are going to set the character and foundation for their later years.

How to prepare your child for primary one part 1 - physical preparation

I was teaching the K2s before I went for maternity leave. I supposed most parents will be receiving or going for their child's orientation program for Primary one during this period. I came across a Facebook post of a friend who was worried about her child going to primary one. Thus, I am going to share some tips based on my own experience as a parent and as an early childhood educator. I am sure most of us will be anxious as it is a big step from preschool. In preschool setting,most of the time, the children were directed by the teachers to do things. However, teachers do encourage the children to practice their self help skills. In primary school, the children have to be independent. Based on my own experience, it can be a headache especially when I am a full time working mom and being in the education sector, I usually could not take the day off to attend to my child's first day. However, I find that things have changed much since my time (#1980s babies). I still remember my first day of school, we were all gathered at the assembly area and lined up according to our class. There was a prefect holding a sign that indicated my class. My mum was there during recess time. This helped me as it felt better to be able to see a familiar face in the sea of unknown. Nowadays, we were given a tour and a talk during orientation to fully understand the school needs. I went through 3 orientations. I find it is helpful to be able to understand the school better. We were able to see how the school looks like. On the first day, the children were usually attached to a buddy who is usually in upper primary. This buddy will help them during recess time and help the newbies with the first few days. Well, that is what happened to my three older children. I am sure that some of you will like some tips on how to prepare your child for primary one. There are some things that you need to take note. 

Physical preparation

• Independence of going to toilet 

In the childcare or kindergarten, the children were usually accompanied by the teacher. The teacher will remind them to wash their hands and clean their private areas properly. When they enter primary school, they have to remember all these things on their own. As a parent, my children sometimes still need reminders to wash their hands. You can educate them by going to one of the toilet in the primary school during orientation. Based on that, you will be able to tell them how to go about keeping their personal hygiene clean. Therefore it is very important to plan out things to do during orientation. It is not just about buying books or uniform (I know it is very exciting but there are more important things to do than just buying books or uniform). 

Aside from teaching them how to use the toilet, we need to explain to them that they need to ask for permission to use the toilet. This can be achieved by doing role play. You can be the student and you will raised your hand to ask for permission from them (the teacher). After which, you will reverse the role. This will help children who are particularly shy.

• Sleeping early 

My children had difficulty adjusting to the new sleeping schedule. I suggest that you can start the new sleeping time during these two months. My children are all in the morning session. It was difficult for them to fall asleep due to the fact that they were excited and not use to it(I started out like two days before that;very bad move). Children need to have sufficient rest before they are able to perform in school. For those who went to kindergarten, it will be harder for them as the schooling time has been extended. Instead of 4 hours, school starts at around 8 am to around 145pm. My children were usually exhausted by the time they reach home if they do not have enough sleep the previous day.

• Nutritional needs

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. My children eat their breakfast every single day. My dad had advised me that children need to have the energy to last them till their recess time which is usually around 10 am. Can you imagine them going through class from 6am the time they woke up till 10 am on an empty stomach? It will affect their attention span and it is definitely not healthy. Another tip is to take a look at the menus in the canteen during orientation. My hubster and I went through the menu in the school canteen. For the first week, we told our children the food that they should buy. This will prevent them from wasting time to decide on the food to eat. It will allow them more time to eat.You can help them to plan for maybe two weeks to give them a headstart. This will help to prepare them and cutdown the time on deciding. You can explain to them that they can make their own choices after two weeks. Ensure that you help them to pick food they will like. Through this, you can help them plan their financial. You can teach them the change they will receive after buying the food. However, if you feel that your child has the ability to account for their own money, just let them make their own decision after going through the menu with them. If your child dislike the canteen food and you have the time, you may pack lunch for them. The children need to understand that recess time is the ONLY TIME that they are able to eat. Another thing to take note is please make sure your child hydrate themselves by preparing a water bottle for them.

• Being responsible for their personal grooming and belongings

You may start training them on how to keep their uniform neat and tidy by showing them what is expected of them. You can show them pictures on how to wear their uniform. After which, the children will model the right way to wear their uniform e.g tucking in their shirt. Other than their uniform, you can talk about their hair especially the girls. My girls had difficulty with keeping or tucking their fringe to the sides. It took me a while to train them on keeping their hair neat and tidy. If it is a hassle especially for girls with long hair, you might want to keep their hair short till they are able to be responsible about their personal grooming.
You need to explain to your child about their personal belongings. Unlike in preschool where sometimes parents called the school up to ask the teacher to look for some missing items(the children were younger and were not able to look after their things), in primary school, things will get lost (my boy lost his pencil case and wallet). I know it is not easy but if we continue educating our children on being responsible for their own belonging, it will form into a good habit. I am sure that in childcare, the children were taught to look out for their own items. Therefore as parents, we need to inculcate the good habit by not pampering them by always looking after their things. Another habit that you can start is getting them to pack their own bag. The children need to learn how to read their timetable and the books that they have to bring.

These are some of the important things to go through with your child before they head out to primary one. However, let me emphasize that the process should be kept as simple and relaxing as possible and make it fun. After all, our intention was for our babies to be prepared and to love going to school. I am sure you would want them to tell you that they enjoyed school at the end of the day.

I am sure you would want your child to come out smiling on her first day.

   

#5 tahnik ceremony.

I have written about the hair cutting ceremony for baby Arrian previously. The previous post is for those who have the money and energy to go through the whole process. As for #five, we were unsure whether we will like to perform such ceremony. However, hubster brought up a point. He said that all of her siblings went through the ceremony so we should do the same for her #fairness. As usual, we wanted something easy and cosy as it is baby number #5. Hubster decided to hold it with immediate family members only.I have heard of tahnik services done by the local mosques. Now for those who are not familiar with the term, let me explain further.

Tahnik
Tahnik is a sunnah and it should be done at the 7th, 14th and 21st days of the child's life. We chose to do it on her 21st day. The tahnik ceremony comprises of the application of honey or dates into the child's mouth and the first shaving of the baby's hair. Besides getting the ceremony done in the mosque, they are able to do it at the comfort of your own home at the minimal charge of $100 only. We chose for the ustaz to do it at our own home. We invited both our immediate family members. The Ustaz will recite some prayers for our dear little Qaseh. It is a simple ceremony that does not cost much and your baby will be blessed. You may contact Darul Hidayah @90230044/8298 5485 to enquire further about the tahnik ceremony.

New changes - Graduation, number 5 and maternity leave

I have longed forgotten this space of mine. Reason being; I was pregnant with my number 5. It seemed like yesterday that I was blogging about baby Arrian. There were a few changes to our current situation. The helper was sent home due to her personal reason, I graduated, I gave birth to number 5 and currently on maternity leave. Let's do bit of catch up.

Pregnant and giving birth to number 5

I never knew how bittersweet a moment can be till I am a mother of 5

I found out that I was pregnant with #5 in January. I have missed my period. Therefore the next step was to take a pregnancy kit test. I was so nervous that I didn't want to see the result and asked the hubster to see the result. IT WAS POSITIVE. I wasn't exactly happy in fact to be exact I was damn bloody pissed. First being; Baby Arrian has just turned 2 and started school. Secondly, I have just lost weight and could fit to a size S (I know I am being superficial but it was a lot of handwork and perseverance to lose weight). And thirdly, we have just recovered from a bad financial year and were slowly recovering from the bad decisions we have made. We were even thinking of aborting the baby #subhanallah BUT I thanked Allah for this little miracle. My journey with her was not exactly smooth. I had morning sickness and spotting throughout the pregnancy. Noone knew I was pregnant till I was around 5 months. I didn't want anyone to know as I was afraid that the pregnancy will not survive. I had recurring nightmares of holding a bloodied baby in my arms. It was really a test of my faith. However, this pregnancy has strengthen my faith in Allah. There was a time where I was in so much pain but yet I didn't want to give birth because I was so afraid that the baby or I will die. I don't know why but I kept thinking about death. It was heart wrenching. I cried in fear. I was shivering like a mad woman. In the end, I listened to the surah-surah especially Al-baqarah to calm me down. Alhamdulilah I was able to sleep through. I prayed for a peaceful and calm birth. Everything went smoothly even though prof biswas gave me medication to quicken my contractions. Ariana Nur Qaseh was born at around 3pm on 29 August 2016 with a birth weight of 2.7kg. I stayed for a day. This time round I had an easy confinement period as the hubster was around to tend to my needs and he took care of Qaseh while I recuperated. My mum cooked my confinement meals. I am so blessed.

Steamed fish with beancurd cooked by mum

The hubster tried cooking sesame chicken and mixed vegetable

Overall, being pregnant and giving birth to number 5 had been an emotional journey for me. I was judged and told that I should plan. I was criticised for "adding burden" to my family. People were making funny remarks and it wasn't healthy for my emotional wellbeing. I cried and cried and hated myself for being pregnant. However, I thanked my mum and sister for supporting me and giving me the strength to pursue on. I didn't even buy anything for baby Qaseh as I was so afraid of her not surviving. However, seeing her now, smiling and laughing, makes me feel blessed. I told myself that I will treasure baby Qaseh and love her as much as I love her siblings. I will give her the same amount of love that her siblings had received. Therefore, after the confinement period had ended, we bought for her things that she needed. I am truly amazed at how Allah has promised that each child came with their own sustenance. We were blessed by HIS grace.#alhamdulilah

Graduation

I finally graduated
P.S: I was heavily pregnant at 8 months

My graduation ceremony was one of the changes that I had looked forward to. To most people, a diploma is just a piece of paper. However, to me, it was sheer handwork and determination to complete it. I had to defer due to my pregnancy and joined another cohort. I was blessed in so many ways to be part of a group that consisted of my old cohort mates. We persevered and cried together as we willed our way to complete the never-ending assignments. We worked in the morning and rushed to school at night. We were doing this for our future and for those who were taught by us. Having a diploma helped to raise the quality of teaching. Through the diploma course, I was able to provide age appropriate materials and use appropriate teaching style to my students. It had helped me teach my own children better as I understand the different styles that my children have. As of now, I have applied for bachelor in early childhood with psychology at SIM. This will further enhance my teaching skills as an early childhood educator.

Life as it is now-maternity leave

I am now on maternity leave. I have been taking care of Baby Qaseh and Baby Arrian most of the time. The older ones have just finished their exams #alhamdulilah. My journey as a mother of 5 has just begun. I wondered how I will survive in near future. I really hope for the best and to give my best like I always do. Work may have to take a backseat but I still love my job as it is something that I am passionate about. I hope to continue updating this space for my children to look back at it in future.

My very own Hi5