How to prepare your child for primary one part 2 - social and emotional preparation

In my previous post, I have shared tips on physical preparation for primary one. A friend of mine shared that it provided useful information for her. I am glad that I am able to help other mummies through this humble blog of mine. I do realise that it was not an easy transition from preschool to primary school. This is especially true for first time parents. I remembered when I was going to register my first born. I did not know when was the application period and the balloting process was bit blurry for me. It was nerve wrecking not knowing whether she was accepted in the school or we have to choose another school. It was a tough process but we enjoyed the moments where we went for orientation and get to know the school. We were happy knowing that the children are in great hands( they had a great pool of teachers, passionate and dedicated). I really hope after the whole nerve wrecking process of the registration and getting used to the school, your children will enjoy school as much as mine does. Aside from the physical preparation, it is equally important that we prepare the children in terms of social and emotional. Social skills play a big part in making sure that they make new friends in the NEW environment. These friendships may turn to lifelong ones. Emotional preparation is as important as a confident child will be able to go through the obstacles that primary school brings. And in turn, the parents that is us will have a much easier journey with them.

Emotional preparation

Emotional preparation can be done in a fun way. Some preschool centre helps in the preparation by organising a trip to a primary school open house.  If your child's preschool initiated a visit to a primary school, please let them go. In this visit to the primary school, the children will basically go through how a day in a primary school feels like. I believe they even allow parents to follow. If you are given an opportunity, grab it. Let me share how it is like. During the visit, children will be given a tour of the school. They will showcase the different CCAs in school. And on top of that, they will experience the joy of buying food from the canteen. As you can see, it is very useful. Therefore if such trips are organised or there is an open house at the school that your child is going to, please go for it. You can ask all the questions that you worry about. Another way that you can encourage your child is by getting an older sibling or your niece or nephew to share their experience on first day of school. However, be mindful, pick the ones who has positive experiences. This is helpful especially if the older child happens to be your child's favourite friend or cousin. First impressions are important to create a lasting one. 

Besides experiences, we need to build on the child's confidence. As your child goes through primary one, be mindful of changes in behaviour e.g. withdrawn or lack of appetite. There was an incident where my eldest daughter was withdrawn and quiet. I grew worried as it was so unlike her. My hubster and I decided to have a personal one to one talk with her. It is important to ensure privacy for such talks. Children sometimes do not like to share their experiences in front of their siblings. She shared that she was being bullied. Now, as parents, we tend to get defensive and uptight once our child mentioned the word "bully". It does not help by asking leading questions. What we do was allow her to retell the incident. We listened without interrupting and gather all the info. What happen was a boy kept calling her "pig" and kept taking her personal belongings even though she said"stop". It did not help that even though she told the teacher, the boy did not stop. Now, some parents at this point might blame the teacher and started thinking that the teacher is not doing her work. For me and hubster especially myself, we prefer to hear from the teacher's point of view. I empathise with  primary school teachers. It is not easy to be there for all of the 30 children no matter how much they tried. The first step that we took was to arrange a meeting with the teacher to get her side of the story. So Hubster went to talk to the teacher. From what we gather, the boy had some behavioural problems and his parents had been notified. The teacher assured us that she acknowledge the incident and is doing her best to help the boy. As parents, we acknowledge and the next step was to equip my eldest daughter with the skills to handle the situation. The best thing when faced with bullies was to teach our child how to handle the situation.We taught her how to walk away or ignore the bully. I explained to her how giving attention to the bully's actions will make him feel good. Do follow up on your child's progress by asking her about the bully. This helps to develop a sense of trust and bonding between you and your child. Other than developing trust, it will make your child feel that she is not alone facing the bully. It will increase her self confidence. Self confidence helps to motivate a child and increase their performance in school.

Another step that you can take is to ensure that they are familiar with the school which in turn will develop their self confidence. Humans by nature are afraid of the unknown. Thus being familiar with the school and its routine is important. So parents, you need to create a routine for school and be consistent about it(i know it's so difficult to be consistent especially those working moms, I am one of them too).

Social skills preparation

Social skills need time to develop but it is never too late to teach them. Social skills like empathy, honesty and responsibility are important. Now, we as adults tend to take for granted that these children will know what to do when faced with situations that require them to be responsible, honest and to empathise(I am guilty as well). We thought that they have the common sense to do such deeds. The truth is no, they do not have such skills, these skills are acquired and modelled. If you always show acts of responsibility, your child tend to know how to be responsible. For example, returning their plates and cutlery in the school canteen. If they put their plates in the sink at home, they will know that they have to return their plates and cutlery in school. If you show kindness to the poor, your children will follow suit. So therefore, you need to explain to them certain things like returning the wallet that they found to the lost and area or not making fun of their friend who may be different from them. Children learn by modelling actions from their parents. Therefore continue to build on their social skills so that they can work well with their peers. Besides that, we as parents need to be open minded when the teachers provided feedback on their progress. 

Teamwork is another set of skills that the children need. The children will need to work in a group to complete a project. Therefore it is important to teach them how to listen when their team mates are talking and to show respect by not talking. You may do role-play to act out the different situations and get your child to give their input on how they will react when the situation arises. After which, you may correct them or teach them the right way. Other than role playing, you may want to borrow books about first day of school. You can use the content to explain to your child how first day of school is going to be like.

Happy experiences make my children look forward to school everyday.

I hope that my sharing has helped to enlighten you in one way or another. My children are still "work in progress". There were days that I feel like screaming at them and there were days where they go on and on about their school. I hope all of you will persevere and endure the primary school years. It is important to provide a support system for our children. At the very least, they know that they have us to count on no matter what. And lastly, enjoy the learning journey with your child because the primary school years are going to set the character and foundation for their later years.